Believing is a verb
On Wednesday’s group call, a woman who’s been working on love said something I’ve heard in a hundred versions. She’s feeling good, she’s going out, she’s not hating on men anymore. But when Lauren asked her how certain she was that she’s meeting her person, she hesitated. If she said she was certain, she told us, it felt like inviting the universe to throw her a bad surprise.
A lot of us carry that superstition. Don’t announce the deal before it closes. Don’t buy the crib too early. Keep your hopes quiet so nobody can take them.
Lauren answered with a walk through Central Park after 10 p.m. If you believe the park is dangerous at night, every person you pass looks like a mugger. You can walk the whole loop without seeing anyone and still have the hair up on your neck the entire time. And when you get out safe, you don’t think “I was fine.” You think “I got lucky.” The belief survives, and it gets a little stronger.
That’s how inner dialogue works. It tells a story, the story creates the feeling, and the feeling decides what you notice and what you do next. “We get what we believe,” Lauren said. Then she added the part that stung: timing is the test of whether you actually believed it. If it doesn't happen this week, do you stop believing?
Believing is a verb
Staying true to yourself is a verb, not a noun. You don’t get to own belief like a coat in the closet. You do it, the way you run.
Someone who just closed on a house doesn’t wonder whether they’ll move in. They know, and the only open question is when. Lauren’s homework for our member was to walk around with that same knowing about love, so the daily question becomes “is it today?” and stops being “is it ever?” And when a voice in her head argues, she deletes it. We delete junk email without a second thought. We can learn to do the same with junk thoughts.
Plan, fail, plan, succeed
Then Lauren said, “I like failing.”
Not because it feels good. She lets herself be disappointed for about a minute. But she treats every miss as practice that makes her more capable, never as proof that the dream was wrong. If one rejection can talk you out of something, you weren’t really in it. Plan, fail, plan, fail, plan, succeed is the real sequence for nearly everything worth having.
Come practice with us
This is what happens every week in my small groups. A handful of people work on the part of their life that isn’t a 10 yet: love, career, money, health. Each person leaves with homework that fits exactly where they are. You hear yourself in other people’s stories, and you get caught, kindly, when your inner dialogue starts running the show.
I have a couple of spots open in each group:
Tuesdays, 11am ET
Wednesdays, 10:30am ET
Men and women both welcome.
Grab your spot>>
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And if you’ve been waiting until you feel ready, that’s the voice to delete.
Let me know if you have any questions.
Warmly,
Kimberly
