Are you a fault hunter?
(Invite to a party below)
On a group call last week, one of our members was telling us about the dating she's been doing. She's having more fun, she's catching herself faster, and things are getting lighter. Then she started picking apart a guy she'd met: what he did wrong, what he should have said, whose fault it was that it fizzled.
I stopped her. "If you're hunting for fault, you're way in the dark side of you."
She laughed, because she knew it immediately. Her lower self is a fault hunter.
Most of us have one. Here's why it matters. Fault hunting doesn't end in finding the truth. It ends with you as the martyr. If it's always someone else's fault, you get a great explanation for why you don't have what you want. The guy, your boss, your mother, the economy. All that explanation buys you is being stuck, alone, and right.
Then someone else on the call said, "Oh, I'm not like that. I don't blame other people. I look inward. I examine myself."
So now it's always your fault: same hunt, different target.
There's an easy way to tell whether you're examining yourself or hunting yourself. Say you were late to the airport. If you look at it and come out with a fun new promise, like "I leave thirty minutes earlier and I pack the night before," that's your higher self. It's useful, it moves you forward, and it doesn't hurt.
If you go over it and over it, nothing new comes out, and it feels bad the whole way through, that isn't self-reflection. It's your lower self wearing a lab coat.
Fault hunting is a trait. Nobody is born a fault hunter. You learned it from somewhere. So here's your assignment:
- Catch it. This week, notice every time you go looking for whose fault something is, theirs or yours. Just notice. No fault for fault hunting.
- Assign it. Who in your family did this? Mom? Dad? Whose voice is it? Write down how they did it and what it cost them.
- Turn it into a promise. Next time something goes sideways, skip the "whose fault?" question. Ask "What's my fun new promise?" and make one.
Get yourself some no-fault insurance. Your love life, your career, and the people around you will all feel the difference.
Lauren
If you want people who'll catch you mid-hunt, my last small groups of 2026 are starting this month. [Tuesday at 11 am ET and Wednesday at 10:30 am ET]. Only a few spots left.
Save your spot nowā†’
Join the Tuesday Small Group and end 2026 Powerfully Proud
Wednesday Small Group Powerfully Proud in your Career and beyond
*DANCE PARTY*
